Little Men From Neptune III
by Diane2
Summary: When the gang is in High School, things go wrong as they experiment with their love lives. Told from the perspectives of Arnold, Helga, Gerald, Phoebe, and Mr. Simmons. Please R


Little Men from Neptune III

Little Men from Neptune III

I woke up on the morning of the first day of school. My alarm clock was going off, shouting the familiar, "Hey Arnold!" which I hadn't heard much of all summer long. I yawned, stretched, pulled the plug out of the potato, quieting the alarm, got out of bed, and made my way to the bathroom, which was thankfully unoccupied because I had risen so early. I entered, locked the door, and proceeded to disrobe out of my red plaid boxers and white undershirt. Long gone were the days of my blue pajamas, as I had discovered that my new sleepwear was easier and more comfortable.

I proceeded to get in the shower, letting the warm water wake me up. I washed in five minutes and stepped out of the shower, throwing a towel around my waist. I brushed my teeth and made my way back to my room to figure out what to wear. I tossed the towel to the floor, put on my boxers, and inspected myself in the mirror. I had turned 15 just a few days before, and decided that the summer had been good to me. Heh, Gerald threw me an awesome party.

"Happy Birthday Arnold!" everyone shouted as I walked in the door of Gerald's rec room. He had helped his dad turn the basement into a rec room that summer, and it turned out to be extremely wicked awesome. Now, Gerald knew how to throw a party. I have to admit; I think he is better at party throwing than Rhonda. His parties always had loud music, great food, and plenty of girls, and my party was no exception. I don't know where he finds these people, but they show up.

'Everyone' included all of our friends from PS118, along with about 20 people we had met in Jr. High that Gerald had become good friends with, and about 10 more people I had never seen in my life. All of them were girls.

"Where did you find all these girls, Gerald?" I asked quizzically.

"They just follow me around, man. I'm a babe magnet," was his reply.

Ever since Phoebe and Gerald had broken up over 'irreconcilable differences' last summer, Gerald had been moving from girlfriend to girlfriend every couple of weeks. I on the other hand, just watched this spectacle from the background. I had always been way too shy when it came to girls, and so I had never gotten up the nerve to ask out any of my crushes, resulting in my still having never been kissed, besides those times by Helga... which I don't count anyway.

So, the party was going great. I was dancing and attempting to socialize by having Gerald introduce me to people who I had never met or didn't quite remember. I also chatted to Helga and Phoebe who were standing by the snack table. 

"So, Helga, check out that hot Latin hunk over there, he's a total babe." I heard Phoebe saying.

"Yeah, he's OK, but you know I go for blondes, like that one." Helga said and pointed to me.

I smiled and said, "Hey girls, how's it going?"

"Just fine." They both said in unison

Helga had told me that she loved me way back in the fourth grade, and basically, I didn't know what to think. I was flattered, but that was about it. I was too young to have any romantic feelings toward her. Look where that got Gerald and Phoebe. Anyway, we became pretty good friends after that, but she has never let the fact go that she once used to obsess over me, and constantly teases me.

"That's good. Having fun?"

"Yeah football head, this party is boss."

"Gerald always throws the best parties."

"There you go again, Phoebe, complimenting Gerald. If I didn't know better I'd say you still liked the guy."

"Shut up Helga, you know I got fed up with his player mentality. Plus, I think I'm going to go talk to that guy I've had my eye on. See ya guys." She walked away.

"So, see any guys you like?" I asked Helga giving her a friendly poke.

"Yeah, those blondes over there are pretty sultry. You know I go for 'the boys with the cornflower hair'."

"Heh, yeah."

Just then, Gerald announced that we were going to play some "7 minutes in heaven." Yeah, I knew what that was, but I didn't expect Gerald would actually suggest it. I tried to go hide in a corner somewhere, but he located me, and dragged me by the arm, over to the closet.

"You get to go first birthday boy! Pick your partner in crime!" I just stood there, dumbfounded. After a minute, Gerald spoke again. "Fine, I'll choose for you. Jacqueline, come here."

A really cute blonde girl who was about my height came over to me. "Hi Arnold, I'm Jacqueline, a friend of Gerald's." She extended her hand to me and I shook it.

"Nice to meet you," I said shyly.

"Ok, enough chit chat, get in there, and don't come out till we say so! Have fun!" Gerald said, and practically shoved us into the closet, closing the door.

My heart was pounding a mile a minute and I wasn't sure exactly what to do. I probably would have sat there in the dark freaking out for seven minutes, but all of a sudden I felt Jacqueline's lips touch mine. We just stood there in the dark closet, well, she was kissing me, but for a while I just stood there, shocked. She pulled away.

"It takes two people to kiss," She whispered.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry."

She resumed kissing me, and this time I attempted to kiss her back. It was all new to me, and I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing, but she didn't stop, so I assumed I was doing it correctly. Suddenly, I felt her tongue in my mouth as she began frenching me. I don't know what came over me at that point, but I really liked it, and I frenched her back. My brain was filled with all these thoughts and feelings. 'Wow, I'm having my first kiss,' kept racing through my mind, and I really liked it. I was having the time of my life!

About five minutes later, I believe Gerald opened the closet door, but I didn't notice until I heard the sounds of clapping and cheering and "Go Arnold!" being chanted. I pulled away and blushed up a storm with this big goofy grin on my face. (I really need to learn to control my blushing.) Everyone else had their turns after that, though I think Gerald got longer than seven minutes, but I just couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. It had felt so good! It had been so much fun! 

I didn't really talk to Jacqueline for the rest of the party. I was too busy lost in thought.

Yup, it had been a great summer. Not only for the good times though, but physically as well. Gerald and I had decided we wanted to start working out, so at the beginning of the summer, Gerald had gotten a home gym for his birthday, and we had used it every day. I gave my stomach a little pat and inspected it in the mirror. Every single ounce of baby fat that I had was now gone, and it was perfectly flat. 

My arms and legs were pretty well toned too, and I began flexing to get a good look at them. I also turned around and checked out my butt, which I must admit was looking pretty good too. Lastly, I checked out my face. Still completely zit-free and my beard was coming in nicely. Well, it wasn't really a beard. It was more like a few blond hairs that were barely visible, but I was quite proud of them.

I went to my closet and looked for something to wear. Going clothing shopping with Rhonda and Gerald had been a lot of fun, and my closet was brimming with new fashionable attire. I chose a pair of baggy jean shorts and put them on with a belt. (Gerald said they were supposed to be low fitting, but I decided I'd rather not have my boxers poking out for the world to see.) I grabbed this black T-shirt that I had gotten and put it on. It was kind of tight, but Gerald had again said that it was supposed to be and upon inspection, I decided it showed off my physique quite nicely. That done, I put on my flannel and checked myself out one final time. It just didn't look right. Perplexed, I took off the flannel and all was spiffy again. My flannel was such an important part of my look, I didn't want to go without it, so I simply tied it around my waist, and that completed the ensemble nicely. My black flip-flops were the final touch. My hat remained quiet on the bedpost because the high school dress code didn't allow hats. I only wondered how poor Sid would feel.

I went over to the dresser and reached for my hair gel. I had decided that my long hair was too much of a hassle, and had gotten it cut earlier in the summer. At first it didn't look quite right, but then Rhonda told me about hair gel, and I've worn it spiky ever since. Helga seemed to like the new 'do, so now I'm hoping all the other girls do as well.

I spiked my hair, put on some cologne, gathered my backpack, and psyched myself up for the first day of high school. 10th grade was going to be sweet, and there would be a very different Arnold wandering the campus.

I groaned as I awoke to the familiar booming of Bob's voice.

"Helga, get your butt outta bed, it's the first day of school!"Knowing it was the only way to pull myself from the warm comfort of bed, I rolled out and plopped onto the floor.I untangled myself from the sheets that I had taken down with me and pulled myself up.

I walked into the bathroom.I looked in the mirror before I got in the shower.Not a pretty picture.I had pillow marks on my face, my eyes were still asleep looking, and my hair was a total mess.I took off my nightshirt and got in.I just stood there for a couple minutes letting the hot water wake me up before I actually did any shower related activities.When I was done I put on a towel, wrung out my hair, and then ran down the hall before Bob saw me.I toweled off in my room then went into my closet to get dressed.

The back wall of my closet was bare, but the empty spot no longer bothered me.When I had told Arnold about how I felt I had taken my shrine down.I still loved Arnold, though he didn't love me.I was very surprised at how little it hurt when I learned that he had no feelings for me.The first couple of shrine-less years it was weird not seeing it when I pulled aside my clothes.But I matured past needing one and it no longer bothered me.

The little pinks books were still in a box at the back though, and I occasionally jotted something down.A little pale blue book among the pinks ones stood out like a sore thumb.The little blue book wasn't full, but I was done writing in it.That one was from a few years back, the summer before Jr. High started.That was the summer Miriam and Bob divorced.

I still don't know how Mom got the ability to demand a divorce from Bob, but she got it.They had gotten a divorce and seeing how Bob was the only one with a job and a house at the time, he got me in the beginning.I remembered with terrible clarity the lawyers, the fights, the documents and contracts.How I hated those lawyers, dividing up and sectioning everything, slicing and dicing our lives to pieces with no more emotion than if they were splitting a pizza.Bob got that and Miriam got that was bad enough, but then they started discussing me as if I were no more than a piece of furniture to also be split and divided!I was furious when I learned that I was going to be "given" to "Big Bob the Beeper King."

Miriam had gotten a third of Bob's money and tricked the lawyers into making him pay alimony.They both knew Miriam was perfectly capable of working for herself, but Miriam put on her best show of stupidity, lethargy, and helplessness she had ever pulled and got a very large alimony to help her until she got a job.Bob tried his hardest to fight her since he remembered very clearly what had happened when he had thrown out his back and Miriam had taken over the "beeper empire" for him while he recovered, but she still won.

She had gotten a good business executive job and a nice sized apartment not far from where Bob lived about a month and a half after the divorce was settled and I happily got to live with Miriam.Now she had child support to replace the alimony.She was completely different now and was no longer the lethargic, stupefied zombie she used to be.She also tried very hard from becoming a workaholic.But since I'm living with Miriam why am I with Bob right now you may ask.

Bob had visitation rights for practically the whole summer and I was staying there a little longer this summer because Miriam had a business trip to make.She'd be back in a few days and I could go home.

Also after I had told Arnold how I felt I guess I had stopped being quite so hard and mean without my secret to protect.I didn't realize that until 7th grade.Because of the divorce I was feeling very fragile.My whole life had been split apart at the foundations and to make it even worse I was about to be starting a new school with new people and none of the old familiarity of PS 118.I had bullied up again so that I couldn't be hurt in my delicate state.Despite the fact that I had become my old self again, everyone had plenty of sympathy for me once they learned about the divorce.They helped me get through it, and I never realized before how many friends I had.I also figured out that I had softened after fourth grade.There was no way I would have had this many friends if I hadn't.

Meanwhile, back to getting ready for school.(You people shouldn't let me reminisce so long.It's bad for the story.)I pulled on a pair of flare jeans, put on a bra, then pulled a red blouse down off its hanger and put it on.I tied it off to one side on the bottom so my midriff showed.I pulled on a pair of black boots.They were platforms (like I needed them) and the tops disappeared into my jean legs.The toes were sort of squared off so my feet weren't pinched.I then struggled to pull a brush through my gnarled, still damp hair for ten minutes.Muttering and cussing under my breath I yanked out half of my hair before I managed to make it presentable.I stood in front of my full-length mirror and examined myself.

The great figure that had started to show itself in Jr. High had almost finished appearing.I was very proud of my chest and waist.I had kept my waist in control without it becoming a Barbie waist like some anorexic girl.I was amazed that I had gotten nice sized boobs since those didn't really run in the family.I flipped my hair.It was long and I no longer wore it on the sides like when I was a girl.It was darker because it was still wet, and the water was weighting it.When it dried I would have a few definite waves in my hair.Those had come out of nowhere last year.I had also started applying Nair to the middle of my eyebrow so that I now had the normal two.Over all I had a body that girls envied, hair that was great when it wasn't wet, and I was a fashionable dresser.

I walked out of my room psyched up and in a great mood for the first day of the year.Bob had already made breakfast.He had somehow managed to become self-sufficient after the divorce.I ate, grabbed my backpack and money for lunch, and then walked out the door to catch the bus.I quietly said a challenge under my breath as I walked to the bus stop.

"Gimme your best shot Seattle High."

"Mmm mmm mmm, I am one sexy dude!" I said to the gorgeous face in the mirror. Yeah, I like to talk to myself every morning, but this morning was extra important. It was the morning of the first day of High School. I stood naked in front of the mirror, checking out every aspect of my gorgeous body. Arnold and I had bulked up all summer using my home gym, and it had given me superb muscles. 

"The ladies are gonna be all over me this year," I said as I held up two pairs of boxers in front of me, deciding which ones to wear. I finally chose the red silk ones because they matched my baggy black jeans with the red stitching. I pulled on my jeans and let them fall to the proper place at my hips. "Perfect." I stared at my chest in the mirror. It was very nicely defined, though it still needed work to become as buff as possible, but I was satisfied. I put on my tight red muscle shirt and it showed off the definition in my chest nicely. I ran a hand over my short hair, which my mom had put into cornrows. I thought the new 'do suited me just nicely, and brought out my dashing eyes.

I checked myself out one last time and caught the bus to school. This would definitely be my last year of riding the bus or my name wasn't Gerald Martin Johanssen. I longed for a car so badly, but mom said I was going to have to wait until I was 16 to get one. Moms can be so annoying. All the way to school, I dreamed about the perfect car. It would definitely have to be red, my favorite color. Sleek and sporty with a kickass speaker system. Yes, I could just taste it.

Before I knew it, the bus arrived at Seattle High. Damn, the place was huge! Arnold and I had practically gotten lost 50 times at registration, and now we had to go it for real, without a map. I entered the school grounds and scouted around for familiar faces. I saw oodles of my ex girlfriends around. They were all staring at me, I could tell. They all wished for more of me, but none of them had really had that special something I was looking for. Ever since Phoebe and I broke up, I haven't been satisfied for very long with anyone for one reason or another. I hated to be known for breaking up with girls every two weeks, but that didn't stop them from coming onto me, so I didn't dwell on it too much. 

I first saw Phoebe and Helga standing together like always, so I went up to them to say hi.

"Phoebe! Helga!" I exclaimed, hugging both of them in turn. We all started chatting about various things when Arnold walked up to us.

"Hey Arnold!" I said happily, and we did our secret handshake. "Lookin' good muh brotha!"

"Thanks, right back at'cha!" Arnold said to me with this attitude in his voice that I was surprised to hear. Heh, my man had changed for the better so it seemed.

After I had said my greetings to Gerald, my attention turned toward Phoebe and Helga. Both of them were looking extremely sexy. Phoebe was wearing a long blue skirt with a slit up the side and a tight shirt that showed off her chest very nicely. Helga looked extremely cute with her midriff showing, and that's when they noticed me staring.

"What's up Arnold? Other than the obvious," Helga joked, which made me blush. I had to stop doing that! 

I gave them both a hug and muttered, "Nothing much," Just then, the bell rang, signaling the first day of school to begin. Gerald and I both had Driver's Ed first period, while the girls had PE, but we'd meet up with them again in English class where we all had, you guessed it, Mr. Simmons. I swear he plans it that way, how we all get him for one class or another. At registration, the PS118 gang all checked our schedules, and we all had Mr. Simmons for 2nd period English.

Gerald and I stepped into the Driver's Ed classroom and took some seats in the middle of the room. "This way we can get a good view of all the girls as they come in," was Gerald's theory. 

"Good plan Gerald, lets start scoping."

"Man, what's got into you? And whatever it is… keep it!"

"Well, you remember my party, right? That kiss brought out this whole new side to me. I loved it! And I want more of it!"

"Now _that's_ the spirit!"

Gerald and I did our handshake again and watched the people pile into the classroom. Some pretty hot girls came in and Gerald motioned for them to sit near us. 

"Hi, I'm Gerald, and this is my main man Arnold. Why don't you foxy ladies come sit by us?" 

The girls giggled and took seats in front of us. This really cute blond girl sat in front of me. She was wearing these adorable little black shorts and a tight pink baby tee, and she was smiling, at me. I smiled back and stuck out my hand, "Hi, I'm Arnold."

She shook it, "I'm Alicia, pleased to meet you." 

She smiled me a smile that made me melt, and I could feel an involuntary grin rise to my face. 'I think I'm gonna like this class,' I thought to myself.

"Ooh, Helga, take a look at that one."I pointed out a guy I thought looked especially hot.

"Do you always go for Latin guys?"

"No, I don't, thank you very much.Helga, what's with you?You're not joining me in any of the scoping and oogling and you're acting all moody.You were perfectly fine before class started.I mean, here we've been for the past ten minutes surrounded by all of these hot athletic guys.Why won't you admire them with me?"

"I thought you wanted a guy with a brain," she retorted back at me sourly.I humphed at her and we sat silent for a little while.She said something I missed... while examining the hot guys.

"Hmm?"

"I said does Arnold seem different to you at all?He didn't seem like himself this morning."

"How so?" I said, not really paying attention.The Latin guy from Gerald's party for Arnold was in this class and I was trying to think of a way to talk to him again.

"Well, the way he said hi to Gerald.He said it with the same sort of attitude that Gerald says it with."

"Maybe he was just humoring him."

"Yeah, he has before, but...."

"But what?"

"Well, the way he was staring at us."She paused for a minute.The next thing she said was angry."Phoebe, would you quit staring at that Latin guy and pay attention to me?!"I turned away from him.

"Fine.Now what about Arnold staring at us?I don't get what's so special about that.He was just being a normal guy."

"But that's just it!Arnold didn't used to act like other guys.He was different.What's with you Phoebe?Have you lost all of your observational skills over the years?"

"I'm sorry I don't study your beloved Arnold's every move like you do, Obsessive Girl."

"Yeah, you're too busy examining Gerald."

"Exac-no!"Was I that obvious?Damn Gerald!Why couldn't I get over him?!We were so completely different.I despised his player mentality and his whole "black homie" attitude.We had to dump each other when the differences became too many, and too large."I do not examine Gerald.Right now I'm examining Enrique, the hot Latin guy from Gerald's party."

"It was Arnold's party.And he's in our class?Good for you."

"Why do you care so much about a few tiny differences in Arnold?I thought you'd gotten over him."

"How could you possibly think I could get over Arnold?I still love him as much as I used to.I know he doesn't like me back but still..." she trailed off."And I just don't know if I like the changes."

"Well I'm sure you can figure it out on your own," I said and went back to staring at Enrique.

I entered the boarding house with a spring in my step. Grandpa must have noticed my air of gleefulness. "Hey short man, good first day at school?"

"It was better than good, Grandpa! It was great!"

"Oh, how so?"

"Gerald and I are going out this afternoon, with girls!" We had chatted up the girls we met in Driver's Ed most of the period. I had barely paid attention to what the teacher was saying because I was too busy flirting with Alicia. Gerald was also having his fun flirting with Kiki. Interesting name huh? Well, tonight, the four of us were going to the movies to see "Little Men from Neptune III." Gerald suggested the movie. Don't ask. I may as well have one more fun night before the mass wave of homework hits. Mr. Simmons may have been extremely nice, but he sure knew how to teach English, massive projects galore.

"Hello Class!" I said, just like every year before. It was kind of like my special greeting to my favorite class. With all the other classes of the day, I was just going to greet them with the usual teacherly "good morning students" or something like that, but I loved this gang. Ever since they lovingly accepted me into their special hearts, I knew I could never let them go, so every year I pulled strings and talked to superintendents about how much they meant to me, and I was able to teach them every year. I don't know what I'm going to do when they go off to college, but I try not to think about that for now. They all look so grown up, but I must try to control my emotions.

"Welcome to a very special year! This is your first year of High School! Look how grown up you are!" I covered my emotions behind a shield of happiness. "Welcome to English II! I hope you all did the reading I assigned over the summer! If not, I suggest you get started now! I have many fun and educational projects for you this year. For the first one, I want you to get into groups of four and act out a scene from any of these short stories."

I passed out books to the class and watched them arrange into their usual groups. I loved assigning these special projects to this class because there was never a dull moment, whether it be Curly's crazy antics or Helga's brilliant poetry. I knew she had a huge crush on Arnold since the fourth grade, and wasn't surprised when Arnold, Helga, Phoebe, and Gerald paired up. I couldn't wait to see what was in store for these four this year.

"This will be due on Monday! I want you all to memorize your parts of at least a page in length and bring some sort of costume to perform in!" The class groaned like always, but deep down I knew they loved it as much as I did. I loved the theater extremely, and put on as many plays as possible in PS118. At the Jr. High, I encouraged the kids to perform as much as possible, and I went to every play. The director was pretty old though, but good. I've seen the director here though. He's very cute. I think I'll chat with him sometime.

So, Gerald, Helga, Phoebe, and I had this project to do and it was only the first week of school. We'd probably need to work on it all week, so tonight I was going to have some fun. Gerald, Kiki, and Alicia arrived at my door at half past 6. I told Grandpa I was leaving and got out of there before he could say too much.

"Hey Gerald, Kiki," I said politely outside the door. Then I got a look at my date. She looked even more gorgeous than she had in school. "Hey Alicia, you look gorgeous!" I purred at her and gave her some intense flirty eyes. Even though I had been shy, I had always been able to give a good pair of flirty eyes. Now I had the confidence to back up those flirty eyes with flirty comments.

"Thanks Arnold, You look pretty hot yourself." Again, I blushed at this. Damn, I needed to stop doing that. "And those rosy cheeks are to die for!" She put her arm around me and I felt her hand slip into my back pocket. I glanced over at Gerald who gave me a look of approval. Well, perhaps the blushing wasn't such a bad thing after all. We walked to the movies with a little small talk here and there. I learned that Alicia and Kiki were best friends and that they were kind of smart and loved to party. Gerald and I talked about ourselves too, but I let Gerald do most of the talking.

All I'm going to say is that I had an absolutely wonderful time on the date, and I came back home at about 9ish with this big dopey grin on my face, and my hair a little out of place. Now I just had to avoid Grandpa. If he asked me what the movie was about, I wouldn't have been able to tell him.

Mmm mmm mmm, I am SO proud of my man right now, you wouldn't believe it. First of all, the date was awesome. Kiki is one special girl and she has got skills and booty. Gotta love the booty. But anyways, First of all, the foxy ladies picked me up at my house and complimented me on my suave looks as usual. I retaliated with some comments about their sexy selves, and then we made our way to Arnold's. 

My man was on the ball the entire night. Watching them walk with their arms around each other and their hands in each other's back pockets was just so damn cute. We got to the movies and Arnold and I paid for our lovely ladies, such was the gentlemanly thing to do. We then took our seats and waited for the lights to dim. Arnold sat on my right, with Alicia on his right. Kiki was on my left.

Heh, as soon as the lights began to dim, my man pounced on that girl like a cat. I barely had time to wipe a tear from my eye when I was pulled away from my moment by Kiki's sweet lips. It was two hours in heaven for me. After the movie ended, the girls asked us to wait for them outside while they freshened up. Gee, it seems like girls always need to freshen up.

"So, did you like the movie Arnold?" I asked, curious as to what his response would be.

"What movie?" he responded and grinned at me.

"That's muh boy!" I gave him a camaraderie pat on the shoulder.

The girls finally came out looking fresh as daisies and we walked them home since they had been so kind as to pick us up. Lets just say my man and I got some final smooching action before we parted ways back to our homes.

I stared at the pile of books.

"Did anybody read any of these?" I asked.

"Sorry Helga, not even I read the books," Phoebe answered.

"Gerald and I didn't read any of them either."Arnold plunked back against his pillow.He was sitting with his back against the side of his bed and his pillow was behind his head.I was lying on my side on his little couch and Phoebe was lying on her stomach on the floor across from me. Gerald was the desk chair.Between the four of us was the pile of books we were supposed to read over the summer.

"Maybe we could just pick one randomly and practice one scene for the project."

Arnold closed his eyes as he responded, "But which one, Gerald?"

"I said random.How about..." he picked a book from the middle of the pile, "this one?"

"Lemme see."He tossed the book to me.I read the title aloud.It was called 'The Doomed Life of Eliza.'I glanced through it."Seems good to me. Anyone else wanna look at it?"Arnold wordlessly held up his hands and I tossed it to him. "Can I be Eliza?"I put on a melodramatic voice. "I'm feeling doomed at the moment!"Phoebe giggled as I threw a hand to my forehead.

Arnold was trailing his finger down the cast list.He stuck it down and said, "I am- oh wait, that's a girl's name.I am really.... Rhys!"He tossed it to Phoebe.

"Hmmm, I believe I shall perform the part of Isabelle."The book was tossed to Gerald.

"Ummm, Cerdric.Now that we all have parts, let's look for a scene with all four... and no one else.That'll be hard."It was short story and it only took us about forty minutes to find a scene with all four of us and no one else.It was the last scene in the book and it was where Eliza's life got to its most doomed point.We looked through the book twice to make sure it was the only one.I had mixed feelings about the scene, for reasons you will soon see.

"Okay, now that we're sure that this is the only scene we can do with our characters, let's run through it once for the feel of it," Phoebe said.

I walked to the middle of the room after studying the scene for a second. I took my pose. I held the imaginary dagger in my hand, ready to plunge it into my chest."Rhys" rushed into the room.

"Eliza!No!"'Eliza' spun around in surprise, anger on my face.

"And why not Rhys?If it were not for me, Josaine would be alive!If it were not for me, that village would not have been burned!If not for me those men would not have been needlessly sent to their deaths!"'Rhys' was slowly walking up to me.Arnold checked the book for his line while I did the same.

"Those things were not your fault!Josaine died because she was sick."

"From poison meant for me!"We both checked our lines again.

"The village was burned as a casualty of war."

"If it were not for me the messenger would have reached the town in time to tell them all to leave!"

"And it was Lord Morin who sentenced those men to be executed, not you."

"It was because of me the order was given." We checked our lines again. 

A faint blush rose in Arnold's cheeks at what he had to say.I struggled not to laugh.'Rhys' was facing 'Eliza' and was staring into my eyes.I would have loved it if it weren't for the fact that he was blushing.I almost lost control of my laughter.'Rhys' took the dagger from 'Eliza' while she was lost in his eyes.

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world.It would be a shame to ruin yours." Through out the whole sentence he kept blushing harder and harder.I lost it and burst out laughing.He glared indignantly at me, still blushing.I laughed harder.Phoebe and Gerald were laughing, too. "Dammit!"

"Damn what?" I managed to choke out through my laughter.

"Never mind," he muttered, as he stalked out the room to get control of his cheeks.We went through three more tries, and every one of them sent his cheeks aflame.After the third try before he left the room I said to him,

"Remember, you're not complimenting my boobs, Rhys is complimenting 

Eliza's."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically.His cheeks got redder.I really didn't mind his blush break- outs.First of all, they were cute.Second of all, they kept me from having to do the part I had mixed feelings about.Right after his line I was supposed to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him.I was overjoyed at the chance to kiss him, and yet... I wasn't sure those feelings needed to be tampered with at the time, what with the way 

Arnold was changing.The fourth try he got through it without blushing.I tried to throw my arms around his neck, but they wouldn't move.I couldn't lift them.My helplessness must have showed on my face because Arnold threw his arms up in the air and said, "Great!What now?"

I felt really sheepish and stupid as I mumbled quietly, "My arms won't work."

"I finally get through the... line without blushing and your arms won't work!"

"I'm sorry.How 'bout we skip the line and the kiss.We can just embrace and that way the next bit can happen.We can practice the line and kiss later."

"All right, let's do this again." I held the imaginary dagger in my hand, ready to plunge it into my chest.

"Eliza!No!"

"And why not Rhys?If it were not for me, Josaine would be alive!If it were not for me, that village would not have been burned!If not for me those men would not have been needlessly sent to their deaths!"

"Those things were not your fault!Josaine died because she was sick."

"From poison meant for me!"

"The village was burned as a casualty of war."

"If it were not for me the messenger would have reached the town in time to tell them all to leave!"

"And it was Lord Morin who sentenced those men to be executed, not you."

"It was because of me the order was given." He walked up to me again to drown me in his eyes and take the dagger.

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world.It would be a shame to ruin yours." I managed to throw my arms around his neck this time.I placed my chin on his shoulder instead of kissing him.He wrapped his arms around me like he was supposed to in the script.I felt his fist between my shoulder blades and knew it was my cue.

Rhys still has the dagger in his hand but forgets.As he wraps his arms around Eliza he accidentally drives it between her shoulder blades, killing her.

He pulled the "dagger" out in realization as I dropped slowly to the floor.He dropped the "bloody dagger" in excellently feigned disbelief.He fell to his knees at my side."What have I done?No, no, not you.Not you, Eliza.Nooooo!!!"The last no was a stretched out howl of anguish, loss and despair, becoming wracked sobs over my dead body.He did such a good job I almost started crying with him.

Isabelle, Eliza faithful friend, and Cerdric, Rhys's brother, hear the cry and come rushing to Rhys's aid, not knowing what they'll find.'Cerdric' opened the 'door', followed by Phoebe, and took in the 'dagger', my dead body, and Arnold sobbing over me at a glance.He immediately rushed to Arnold's side and asked what happened.Arnold raised dead, empty eyes to look at Gerald.

"I killed her," he said in a great hollow voice.

"How?And why?"Arnold just continued sobbing.Phoebe kneeled by my head and started cradling it.

"She died just as tragically as she lived.I just hope she finds peace in her passing.Farewell, my dear friend, doomed Eliza." At that second, the final second of the scene and book, Arnold's Grandpa broke into the room. He saw Arnold sobbing over my dead body as Phoebe held my head.

"Who- whatcha?!What in the name of Heddy Lamarr goin' on here?!"

I lifted my head and said, "Wha?"The look of confusion on his face was so funny we all burst out laughing.Arnold managed to explain through his laughter what was going on to his Grandpa.It's a lot of fun to screw with peoples' heads.

"Mmmmm, Helga, look how much his P.E. shirt shows off his chest."

"Umm, Phoebe?You've been admiring him in his P.E. outfit every chance you've gotten.It's obvious you like his looks.Why don't you talk to him and see if his personality is as great as his bod?"

"Hmmm.We have the same lunch; maybe I can talk to him then.I think I'll do that Helga, thanks."I tried through out the rest of my morning to figure out what I was going to say to him.Finally I decided that maybe it would be a bit practiced if I decided on one thing and that I should just say whatever and try to have a normal conversation.I mean, come on, was I gonna decide on just a single ordinary everyday phrase to say to him and then repeat it over and over in my head to remember it?Hi Enrique, hi Enrique, hi Enrique, hi Enrique.Finally fifth period, and lunch, came.

I bought lunch and started looking for Enrique.He wasn't inside the cafeteria so I looked around the outside tables for him.I found him; he was alone so I sat down.

"Hi, mind if I sit here?"

"Nope, go ahead."He had a light Spanish accent that was to die for.He continued eating his lunch and I started mine while I tried to think of something to break the ice.Thankfully, and yet not, he broke it for me.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?Like one of my classes?"

"Umm, I dunno."I started to take a drink from my bottle of soda.

"Yes you do.We have P.E. together and I know you know that because you're the cute little oriental chick who keeps staring at me."I did something I would kick myself for days afterward right then.I did a spit take and dropped my soda.I tried to recover as best as I could, but no one can fully recover from a spit take.I picked up my soda and tried to clean what little of the table I could with my napkin.Most of it dripped through the table to the ground.I knew I was blushing.I blushed harder when he tried to help me.

"I guess I was right, then."

"Mmhmm."

"You know, when you're not spitting soda in surprise and blushing, you're very cute.Especially in that outfit."I blushed harder.Dammit! "And you look hot in your P.E. outfit, too."

Before I knew what I was doing I said, "You look really hot in yours, too." Thankfully I didn't blush at this, not that I think I could have blushed any harder than I already was.Eventually we fell into a normal conversation, and also eventually my blush faded away.

About seven minutes before we had to go back to class the conversation slowly died.Then out of nowhere he said, "Will you go out with me?"

I tried to sound casual as I said, "Maybe." The shock showed clearly on his face.He was mine.

"What do you mean maybe?You stare at me in P.E. and you said so yourself that you think I'm hot, we had a great conversation, and as far as I can tell, a lot in common.Why maybe?"

"Cuz I wanted to make sure you really wanted to.Now I know.How 'bout the movies tomorrow night?"

"All right.And here's a preview."Then he leaned in and kissed me!When he pulled away, I moved in and kissed him myself.Then I picked up my lunch trash and said to him, "I believe this promises to be a very interesting cinematic experience." I threw out my garbage and headed back to class.I was feeling a little proud of myself.

I walked out of the cafeteria with my food and Kiki.I started scouting for an empty table.As I was looking for a table my eyes fell upon something that even now sends a wave of chills and rage through me.

There was a Latin guy kissing my Phoebe!!Just some ordinary dog dared to put his lips on my sole possession?!Wait, man!Stop thinking like that! You and Phoebe ain't together anymore and haven't been for over a year.She can kiss whomever she wants to.Doesn't mean I have to like it though.You have to get over her, man!She is not yours anymore.She's obviously this Latin guy's now, so forget her.

I saw an empty table and headed over there, followed by Kiki.It had been about two weeks and what I knew was inevitable happened.I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant either.I waited a little while, and then I broke it to her.

"Listen Kiki, your a real sexy chick, very foxy but-"

"But what? This isn't what I think it is, is it?Jackie told me this was gonna happen. I knew that you never stay with a girl for long.I've heard that most girls pour some of their drink on you when you break up with them.Is that right?"This was what I was afraid of.

"Umm, yeah, why?"

"Well, that would mean it's sort of tradition." Her face got hard."And who am I to break tradition?"She stood up and poured her whole cup of punch into my lap.Damn, this always happens.Good thing I always bring extra duds when I plan to break it off with a girl.As Kiki walked away, Arnold came up with Alicia.He took one look at my lap and laughed.

"I take it you broke up with her like you planned?"

"Yup.Good thing I got some pants in my locker.I'd better go get 'em and change.See ya later brotha!"

"Later Gerald."

I wish breaking up with girls didn't always end up with some part of my clothes soaked in punch for once.At least when Phoebe and me broke up she only slapped me.

Man, it has been a hectic month. Mr. Simmons has assigned us more lame projects. Eh, some look pretty fun, like baking a cake in the shape of your favorite author. De-licious as Gerald would say. It's his universal term for anything yummy such as food or girls. Well, Gerald hasn't been very good with girls this month. He's dumped not one, but three girls, all ending with the inevitable result of Gerald becoming soaked with one beverage or another. He particularly didn't like the cappuccino.

Our first English project turned out very well. Helga and I had kept putting off practicing the kiss, so we had to just do it the day of. Gerald had taken the liberty of volunteering our group to go last, to phoebe's annoyance, so we were forced to watch the rest of the groups perform. I had to admit that none of them had done a very good job. Most everyone acted poorly, and the only slight entertainment was Curly's 'monologue'. (He couldn't find a group to be in.)

"Oh, Stella! I love you so much! Please say you'll be mine and leave this treacherous villain!" Curly said with a deep, heroic voice.

"But Eduardo! I love him! But, alas! I love you too! I am torn between two men, you, the brave knight, and the dastardly Victor whose dark side cannot I resist!" His voice became incredibly high as he switched to his falsetto.

Victor entered the scene, also played by Curly, who talked with his normal voice, which was already quite evil sounding. "I see you will not give up! We will duel!"

Curly then began attempting to duel with himself. This was highly amusing because he was jumping from one position to another, switching between the role of Eduardo and Victor, and every once in a while he would switch to a shrieking Stella. Finally, Eduardo managed to slay Victor as Curly pretended to kill himself with the prop sword.

"Stella! I have proven myself true and worthy of your love! God would not have let me win the battle if we were not meant to be together!"

"Oh, Eduardo! I guess now I have no choice! Take me!" Curly then turned his back to the class and proceeded to do the 'one person make out' move. This caused the class to burst out in hysterics and applause. Mr. Simmons seemed to like the performance.

After Curly went, it was my group's turn to go. We went up to the front of the class and began our performance. Helga held the dagger to her chest, ready to "kill" herself. Gerald had found a collapsible dagger somewhere in the back of his closet. He didn't even remember what he had bought it for. I rushed onto the scene.

"Eliza!No!"

"And why not Rhys?If it were not for me, Josaine would be alive!If it were not for me, that village would not have been burned!If not for me those men would not have been needlessly sent to their deaths!"

"Those things were not your fault!Josaine died because she was sick."

"From poison meant for me!"

"The village was burned as a casualty of war."

"If it were not for me the messenger would have reached the town in time to tell them all to leave!"

"And it was Lord Morin who sentenced those men to be executed, not you."

"It was because of me the order was given." I had been slowly moving closer to her and now I was right in front of her.As I pulled the dagger from her now limp hands I realized that I'd never noticed how many different shades of blue were in her eyes.

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world.It would be a shame to ruin yours." Thank goodness I managed not to blush.

This was the part where Helga was supposed to kiss me. Since we hadn't practiced it before, I was a bit nervous. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me gently. I was surprised at how different it felt than kissing Alicia or Jacqueline. Then again, I had kissed Helga many times before, and it had felt different then too. There was the 4th grade "Romeo and Juliet," Babewatch, that truth or dare game in the 6th grade, that time in 5th grade that she kinda "fell" on me, the 8th grade "West Side Story," and some more times too that all of which I never counted as true kisses, cuz well, they just weren't.

I wrapped my arms around her and proceeded to accidentally stab her with the fake dagger. We had discovered that the hilt of the dagger could be screwed off so we made a batch of fake blood.We put it in the hollow hilt of the dagger and that way when it collapsed into itself the fake blood would be spread all over the blade.I pulled it out with feigned disbelief and horror.She collapsed to the ground.

"What have I done?No, no, not you.Not you, Eliza.Nooooo!!!" I wailed. We had practiced so much that I even managed to squeeze out a few actual tears.

"What happened?" inquired Gerald as Cerdric.

"I killed her," I said, still sobbing.

"How? And Why?" Nothing but my cries followed. Phoebe picked up Helga's head.I could see a few fake tears glistening in her eyes. 

"She died just as tragically as she lived.I just hope she finds peace in her passing.Farewell, my dear friend, doomed Eliza." Phoebe finished. The room burst with applause, and I could see that most everyone was crying, including Mr. Simmons who wiped a tear from his eye. We got an A+.

That was the highlight of the month. The rest went pretty smoothly, until yesterday.

We started driving in Driver's Ed about a week ago. I've heard of some schools that wait until the second semester to even begin driving! I'm glad ours gets right into it instead of going through all that needless bookwork. Anyway, Alicia and I had been seeing each other nearly every night since our first date at the movies, and I really liked her a lot. I also really liked making out a lot. It was really fun trying to find creative places to kiss like my closet, my couch, the unoccupied rooms of the boarders, the bathroom, the laundry room, the kitchen, the basement, the roof, (I got that tip from Sid.) on the hood of the Packard, and not to mention nearly every room and nook of her house as well. Part of the fun was seeking out new locations!

I had talked to Gerald on the phone and asked him for suggestions on the best places to make out.

"Arnold, you're looking for a good time, right?"

"Yeah."

"Join the French club!"

"What?"

"Haha, just a poster I saw in the hall, anyway, from a man of experience, believe me, the best way to have fun while making out is to put a hint of danger into it."

"Danger?"

"Yeah, go somewhere where there's a chance of getting caught, but don't get caught. My personal favorite place is the janitor's closet."

"You've made out in the janitor's closet?!" I was shocked. I had not known this information about Gerald.

"Yeah man, and the chill factor increases the thrill factor!"

"But, how do you manage not to get caught?"

"Its easy! Get to school early and have at it! Just make sure you're out of there by five minutes before the bell rings if you want to escape free and clear."

"Yeah, but the janitor's closet has been done. That's where everyone goes, right?"

"Well, yeah, but, where else is there to go?"

"I think I've got an idea now. Thanks for the tip!" I hung up the phone.

Now where was I? Ah, yesterday, I asked Grandpa if he could take me to school early because I had to talk with one of my teachers. He agreed and then I asked that we pick up Alicia as well because she was in my class. (Well she _was_ in one of my classes, so it wasn't a total lie.) He also agreed to that too. Grandpa is so easy to manipulate!

Alicia was curious as to why I picked her up, but I winked at her, and she seemed to understand. We made it to school 25 minutes before the bell was supposed to ring, and barely anyone was there. 

"Follow me." I took her hand and led her to the Driver's Ed range. "We're gonna start class a little early today," I said with flirtatiousness in my voice and in my eyes. She giggled as I walked with her to the range.

The cars were already in their spots, ready for driving, and unlocked. I led Alicia to the car furthest away from the school, set my watch to beep at five minutes before the bell rang, and opened the back door to Driver's Ed car number three. We entered the car, closed the door, and had at it.

She was lying on her back on the back seat, and I was on top of her and we were just making out like crazy! Gerald was absolutely right! The thrill of possible danger made the experience like ten times more enjoyable! It was such a rush, and I could tell that she was enjoying it too. 

I don't know what happened, maybe we had been to loud, maybe I was too absorbed with it all, but the next thing I heard was the sound of the car door opening, and a very angry Driver's Ed. teacher saying, "So I guess you two aren't absent after all." I could see Gerald standing back with the rest of the class, and the look of shock on his face was priceless. 

It had all happened so fast like some bad dream. The next thing I knew was that we were in the office, and we were in big trouble. I was called in to see the principal first. He looked over my records and after seeing that they had been previously clean, decided to only suspend me for two days. I had to call Grandpa to have him come pick me up.

"Hello?"

"Grandpa, you need to come pick me up."

"Why? I'm busy watching my new Heddy Lamarr video that I ordered. It's all about her life and-"

"I got suspended." I mumbled.

"Suspended?! For what?"

"I got caught making out in a Driver's Ed. car."

"You what?! Arnold! That's not like you."

"Sorry."

"Yeah, well, just, don't let it happen again. I'll be right over."

Later that evening, I was eating dinner when the phone rang. "Arnold! Its for you!" I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Arnold, its Alicia. We need to talk."

"Yeah, look, about what happened this morning…"

"That's exactly it Arnold. We can't see each other anymore."

"What?! Why?!"

"Look, I didn't exactly have a clean record, so I got suspended for a week. When my dad came to pick me up, he was absolutely furious and made me explain why. I told him everything, how you took me to the Driver's Ed. car to make out, and that we got caught because we lost track of time. He told me that you were a bad influence and is forbidding me to see you. There's really nothing I can do except go along with it, and I think he's right. You are a bad influence. If it weren't for you, I would never have thought about us making out in such a risky area. Good-bye Arnold, I'll see ya in Driver's Ed." She hung up.

I was so shocked that I spilled my water all over myself. I guess I was meant to befall the same wet fate as Gerald, even if it was indirectly. I went upstairs to change my pants and flopped down on the bed in frustration. I had been dumped, suspended, and called a bad influence all in the same day. I wondered what my friends were going to think of me.

Ahh, my homework was finished.Now I could have some fun.What to do?Man, I sure do get bored between girlfriends.Hmmm, I could call Arnold; see how he's doing.I think I'll do that.I dialed his number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Arnold!How's muh main man doin'?"

"Eh, not bad.Not good either."

"So have you talked to Alicia at all?"

"Not since she called me to tell me she was breaking up with me."

"She broke up with you?"

"Yeah.So how are you?"

"Bored, that's why I called you.You planning anything to do this afternoon?Maybe we can go to the park and play football or something."

"Nah.I don't really feel like it right now.Hey, don't you have a new girlfriend yet or something?"

"Nope.Maybe I'll go to the movies.I think I'll actually try watching the movie I go and see.You know I've seen "Little Men from Neptune III" five times and I still don't know what the main character's name is."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, man.I'm just curious as to the plot.Maybe there's a hot chick in distress somewhere in that movie."

"I'm sure there is Gerald.Well, have fun at your movie, bye." We hung up. 

I headed over to the movies and bought my ticket.I was enjoying the movie, even though it was confusing, until about halfway through it.That was when I heard a familiar giggle.I don't know how I heard it since the giggle was coming from across the theater but I looked across and I could just barely make out who giggled.It was Phoebe!And she was with that Latin guy who was kissing her at lunch!And they were making out!!I couldn't believe it!!I was mad as hell, but I couldn't take my eyes away!And do you know, I still didn't learn the name of the main character of that movie.I left the theater at the end of the movie feeling worse than I had before I went in.On my way out I ran into two girls I knew, Katie and Tina.

"Well, fancy meeting you two here."Katie glared at me, slapped me, and then stalked off.Tina followed her, but not before she poured her soda over my head.Damn, why do girls hold grudges so long?

I heard that giggle again behind me.I heard Phoebe say something to the guy she was with."Looks like Gerald ran into a couple of his old girlfriends."I clenched my fists and marched out of the theater.Pretty soon the coke wasn't the only liquid on my head.It was raining.And I had to walk home.By the time I got there I swear I must've been mud splattered by at least five different cars.And twice by another car.Dating is dangerous.Dammit!!Why the hell couldn't I get over Phoebe?!

I dumped my muddy clothes in the hamper in the bathroom and got in the shower.My hair was getting sticky.While I was in the shower I tried to think of a way to get Phoebe back.I couldn't stand seeing her with another guy!Then, it came to me!All I needed was to get Arnold and Helga in on it.

I was sitting watching "Little Men from Neptune III" with Enrique. He was holding my hand and I was resting my head on his shoulder. The movie was kind of boring, so I was hoping Enrique would hurry up and make some sort of move. Boredom caused me to pan around the movie theater, and I don't know how he managed to catch my eye, but I noticed Gerald sitting across the aisle, a few rows back from Enrique and me. Was he following me? Well, I wasn't gonna let him see me on a date with a guy and just sit there.

I lifted my head off Enrique's shoulder and turned his head to face me. Then I went straight for the kill. If you can make out everywhere Gerald, so can I! I kissed Enrique with all my might. He seemed pretty shocked at first, but I could tell that he began to enjoy it almost immediately. He kissed me back passionately, and he was pretty good too! Not as good as Gerald, but… wait, why was I thinking of Gerald when I was in the middle of making out with a Latin hottie? I pushed the thought out of my head, and I should probably go see the movie again sometime, because I don't know what happened after the little men left Neptune. Just because it was boring doesn't mean I can't know what happened.

After the movie, I noticed Gerald being harassed by two of his ex-girlfriends. I felt kind of bad for him in a way, but of course, I couldn't let him or Enrique know that, so I let out a little laugh and said to Enrique in a mocking tone, "Looks like Gerald ran into a couple of his old girlfriends."Enrique laughed, and Gerald stormed out of the theater. Good. That'll teach _him_ to go around acting like a player, dating every girl on the planet. 

By the time we got to Enrique's car, it had begun to rain. We quickly hopped in and he began to take me home. I noticed Gerald walking all alone, and that pang of guilt returned. Maybe I should invite him in the car and Enrique can drive him home.

"Enrique?" I inquired in a small voice.

"Yes, my darling Phoebe?"

"Do you think you could pick up Gerald and take him home. I wouldn't want him to catch cold or anything." 

"Oh, you know I would, but he's all wet, and I don't want my interior damaged, you understand."

"Yeah." I didn't really understand, but I didn't want to argue. We drove past Gerald, and the car splattered him with mud as we passed him. I felt kind of bad for him, but again I pushed it out of my mind. He deserved it…didn't he?

Arnold hadn't been at school that day, and I wondered why. Was he sick? I hoped not. I couldn't bear the thought of my precious Arnold being sick, so I decided to give him a call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Grandpa, may I speak to Arnold?"

"Who is this? It better not be that little hussy tramp that dumped him!" So Arnold had been dumped by Alicia. I was inwardly glad that he was single once again, but then became concerned that maybe he wasn't at school because he was grieving so hard. I hoped that wasn't the case.

"No, this is Helga."

"Oh! Why didn't ya say so!" He called for Arnold to answer the phone, and soon I heard his voice.

"Hello?"

"Hi Arnold, It's Helga. I just called because I wanted to know why you weren't at school. Are you sick?"

"No, I'm not sick."

"I heard Alicia dumped you. Is that why you didn't come to school? Are you too sad?"

"No, surprisingly, I'm not really that sad, just a little frustrated."

"Why are you frustrated?"

"I didn't come to school because I'm suspended, and I won't be at school tomorrow either."Suspended! That wasn't like Arnold at all. Arnold had been acting more and more strangely ever since his birthday party, and now he was suspended! I was beginning to get just a little turned off.

"Suspended! That's not like you, Arnold! What in the hell did you do to get yourself suspended?!" I kind of shouted at him, but I was getting mad.

"I'd rather not say."

"You'd rather not say?! Arnold, I _thought_ I was one of your best friends."

"You are, it's just… Fine." He mumbled, "I got caught making out in a Driver's Ed. car with Alicia."

"You did what?!" I was really pissed at him now. I was even close to the point of lessening my feelings for him because this was _not_ the Arnold I had fallen in love with. "Arnold, what gave you such a dumb idea?"

"Gerald told me that danger would add more fun. Look, I'd appreciate it if you didn't give me the third degree. I feel disgusted with myself enough already." Aww, how could I resist that sweet countenance? He felt sorry for himself, so maybe there was still hope that he'd become that sweet, caring, thoughtful guy again.

"Look, don't be so hard on yourself. High School will tend to make a guy think he's invincible or something. Just, I would advise you to not follow Gerald's example so much. You and I need to get together to try and save him from becoming a world class player."

Arnold laughed. "Yeah, you're right, we do. Gerald is the bad influence, not me!"

"Huh?"

"Oh, Alicia's dad thought I was a bad influence."

"Haha, he don't know you very well do he?" We laughed. Perhaps things would get back to normal after all.

I could hear the phone ringing on the other end.I waited for him to pick it up.The ringing stopped and I heard him say hello.

"Arnold man, I'm going insane!!"

"Hi to you too, Gerald.Why do you need to be put in a rubber room?"

"Phoebe!!" I cried as I fell backwards onto my bed.

"What about her?"

"Do you really need me to spell everything out for you?I still love Phoebe madly and her new boyfriend is driving me insane with jealousy!"

"Maybe if you hadn't have been such a player you'd still have her."

"Don't you think I know that?But I have a plan to get her back.I just need your help."

"What makes you think she wants you back?She most likely doesn't love you anymore and she's got her new boyfriend.She seems happy.Why screw with it?You'd be doing something very selfish if you disturbed her happiness for your own."

"Ummm, Arnold?Is it just me, or do you sound like your old self?"

"I would hope I sound like my old self because that old self is now the current self.I didn't like myself when I was the new self.That personality may suit you, but I didn't like it.I'm going back to the old me."

"Too bad.But anyway, my plan won't force Phoebe to come back to me; I don't think I could ever force Phoebe to do anything.This is just gonna let her know that I still love her and want her soo bad!If she doesn't want to come... she doesn't have to.But I need your help."

"All right.I'll be a good best friend and help.What do I have to do?"

The phone rang.

"Bob!!!Phone!!!"

"You're the teenage girl!!It's probably one of your friends!"I got up and walked to the phone.

"That remark was cliché and ignorant!I'm gonna laugh if this is for you!"

"Helga?"

"Arnold!Hi!"I took the phone into my room.Bob, guessing from my actions that the call was for me, sent ridiculing laughter after."Shuttup!!"

"Helga?"

"Oh, I was shouting at Beeper King, not you.You lost me an argument."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault.I don't really care anyway.So what's up?"

"The opposite of down."

"Shuttup.I meant why'd you call me?Any specific reason?"

"Yup.You know how we said before that we needed to get together to try and save Gerald from becoming a world-class player?I know you were joking, but I have a way."

"What?"

"He wants Phoebe back.He still loves her.He has a plan he needs our help for to show her how he still feels.If they get back together, he won't be a player anymore.Phoebe won't let him."

"Hmm, I'm listening," I said with a malicious grin.

It was a week since Gerald got Arnold and me into his plan.We had to wait that long so he could practice and it had to be Friday anyway.I was walking with Phoebe to third period.

"Friday at last.And if we're lucky, no weekend homework.Or at least very little."

"Yup.Say, Phoebe, if you have no homework, you got anything you really want to do this weekend?Or tonight?"

"Nope, can't say I do.Enrique is busy this weekend so we can't go out.I really don't have anything planned."

"Well, in that case do you wanna come with me and Arnold and Gerald to the Karaoke place near PS 118?They changed it and remodeled it.It's a lot cooler now.We were gonna go check it out."

"Sure, why the hell not?"

"I have no idea."

"What if this doesn't work?What if I screw up?What if she hates me even worse?What if Enrique comes along at the last second?"

"Gerald, would you stop pacing?Everything will be all right.You already knew it might not work, you've been practicing all week, so you can't screw up, if she hates you even worse its no biggie.She'll be just like all your other exes."

"But I didn't care about my other exes, Arnold.That's why they're exes.I care about Phoebe and I don't want her to hate me like the others. And what if Enrique shows up?"

"Helga said that Phoebe said that Enrique is busy this weekend.Don't worry.And would you quit pacing already?!I'm trying to read this book for Simmons."

"What if whatever is making him busy this weekend is canceled or something?What if he comes as a surprise for Phoebe?"

"Phoebe didn't tell him she was coming here tonight.He can't drop in unexpected.Just calm down.If you give yourself the jitters than you'll screw up for certain."

"Fine."Gerald sat down in a chair across from me.He sat for about two seconds before he sprang up again and started pacing.I sighed.

"Phoebe!Let's sit up here.This table's empty and it's right in front of the stage."

"Okay.Where are Arnold and Gerald?"

"Arnold will be here soon.And I forgot to tell you, but Gerald couldn't make it.He said he had something he needed to do."

"Probably flirt with another girl or two or twenty and try to convince them to be his temporary ornament."Poor Gerald.If Phoebe really felt that way he was gonna have a hard time of doing this.Arnold came from backstage when Phoebe wasn't looking.He came over and sat down.

We waited for Gerald to come on.We only had one song to sit through before him.Mr. Simmons was wearing this weird purple getup and funny ass hat and Wartz was wearing a leisure suit.They were singing something that sounded like "I Will Survive," but not quite.I think it was called "I Will Prevail."When the song ended we were all laughing so hard.But we tried our best to hide it.Phoebe was still laughing when the next person came on stage.Her laughter turned into surprised chokes when she saw whom it was.

"What the frig is he doing here?!I thought you said he couldn't make it, Helga."I leaned back, put my feet on the table, and folded my hands on my stomach.

"I lied.Now be quiet and listen."He started to sing "I Wanna Know" by Joe.For anyone who knew Gerald, and knew that he had dated Phoebe, and knew that Phoebe was in the crowd it was obvious whom he was singing to.Of course, no one in the room knew all three of those things except us four.

"It's amazing how you knocked me off my feet

Every time you came around me I get weak

Nobody ever made me feel this way

You kissed my lips and then you took my breath away

So I wanna know

"I wanna know what turns you on

So I can be all that and more

I'd like to know what makes you cry

So I can be the one who always makes you smile

"Girl I never understood what you were worth

And we never took the time to make it work

Baby I'm the type of man to show concern

Anyway that I can please you let me learn

So I wanna know

"I wanna know what turns you on

So I can be all that and more

I'd like to know what makes you cry

So I can be the one who always makes you smile

"Tell me what I gotta do to please you

Baby anything you say I'll do

Cause I only wanna make you happy

From the bottom of my heart, it's true

"I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alright

And find emotions that you always try to hide babe

I do believe that there's a love you wanna share

I'll take good care of you lady, have no fear

So I wanna know 

"I wanna know what turns you on

So I can be all that and more

I'd like to know what makes you cry

So I can be the one who always makes you smile

"Tell me what I gotta do to please you

Baby anything you say I'll do

Cause I only wanna make you happy

From the bottom of my heart, it's true."

At the end of the song I looked at Phoebe.She had a very strange look on her face and I couldn't tell what it meant.After Gerald left the little stage she slowly pushed out her chair and got up.She walked slowly, then quicker and quicker.She was all but running by the time she reached the door, but I could tell she wanted to do that.I would've gone after her if I hadn't seen Gerald watch her and then go out a back door I could barely see.He would have to do everything by himself now.

I found Phoebe in the alley behind the building.She was sitting placidly on a trashcan with her hands in her lap.She looked like she was somewhere else.

"Phoebe?"

"Gerald!"As I walked towards her, her face became angry."You know what?I could, I should slap you, or- or punch you, or kick you, or... pour a beverage on you right now!"Dammit!This was gonna be near impossible.

"Phoebe, I know we broke up over a year ago, but I still love you.I never stopped though God knows I've tried.I wasn't a player cuz' I thought it was fun, though it was, I just never found a girl that meant anything near as much as you to me.I managed to live with it but when you started going out with Enrique I almost went insane with jealousy!I'll understand if you still hate me and don't wanna get back together, and if you wanna stay with Enrique.I just wanted you to know how I felt, and how much I still cared for you.You can slap, or punch, or kick me now if you want to.I don't think you have a beverage with you.At least I hope."She hopped adorably off the garbage can and walked up to me.

"It's pointless for you to try and win my heart."

"Dammit.I thought as much.I'll go now."

"You stay put right here!You didn't let me finish.It's as pointless and redundant as beating a dead horse.It's already dead, so why try to kill it?My heart's already yours, so why try to win it?"She stood on the tip of her feet and kissed me.She was just as sweet and de-licious as the last time I kissed her, if not more so.I kissed her back passionately.We just stood there and kissed in the alley behind "The Karaoke Place."

I could barely sleep a wink the night that Gerald and I got back together. I guess deep down, I had never really gotten over him, and when he sang me that song, I knew that we were meant for each other. The weekend passed by too quickly for words. Gerald and I were together nearly every second. He took me out to dinner; he serenaded me with every love song imaginable including "I Wanna Know," which inevitably became our song. There was only one thing that worried me. How was I going to tell Enrique?

Monday during P.E., I tried my best to avoid Enrique, but he kept insisting on running with me. I wished I was fast enough to outrun him, but he was faster than me, so he jogged at my pace.

"Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry that I was busy this weekend. I'll make it up to you tonight. We can go out, just the two of us."

"Look, Enrique, I'd love to…" The teacher's whistle blew, signaling the end of class.

"Great! I'll pick you up at six!"

"Enrique, wait!" but he was already ahead of me, jogging to the boys' locker room. I'd have to wait 'til lunch to break it to him, and I had wanted to sit with Gerald too.

Later, at lunch I spotted him, "There you are my beautiful Phoebe! Come sit down with me." I sat.

"Enrique, in P.E. the whistle blew before I could finish. About tonight…"

"It'll be perfect! Dinner for two by candlelight, cooked to perfection by yours truly."

"I can't go."

"You can't? Why not?"

"I think we need to stop seeing each other. It's not you, it's me, you see, Gerald and I got back together."

"You what? But, how could you do this to me?"

"I guess I never really stopped loving Gerald, and when I learned that he wanted me back, I was overjoyed. I'm sorry Enrique."

"Well, sorry isn't going to cut it! I guess my mom was right. Oriental girls are trouble!"

The Jerk! I try to break it to him gently, and then he insults me. There was only one thing to do. I stood up. "Later, loser," I said, and dumped my cappuccino in his lap. Just then, Gerald came up to me.

"Phoebe, is he giving you trouble?"

"He just insulted me, I'm ok."

"No one insults my Phoebe!" Gerald then did the sweetest thing. He emptied his bottle of Coke on Enrique's head. "That oughtta cool you down. Man, it feels great being on this side of the beverage pouring." He offered me his arm, walked me to a table, and we sat down to eat.

Being suspended really bites. I swear, I am never going to do anything that may cause me to get in trouble again. The only teacher that let me make up my assignments was Mr. Simmons. I got zeros in all my other classes. Ouch, but I guess I deserved it. I'll just have to work twice as hard in my other classes to bring my grades up.

The week went by pretty slowly. I worked my ass off, and so far, I seem to be raising my grades. Helga has been coming over after school every day to help me study. She's really a great friend. Gerald and Phoebe are so cute together. I saw the spectacle at lunch on Monday. Heh, Enrique got it good, but I'm so glad its Friday! I need a break from all this studying.

I decided to call up my friends and see if we could do something. I called Helga first.

"Hello?"

"Helga, its me, Arnold. I was just wondering if you wanted to do something this evening." Gee, that kinda sounded like I was asking her out. I added, "I'm also going to see if Phoebe and Gerald wanna come." Gah, now it sounded like a double date. Oh, well.

"Sure, Arnold, what do you wanna do?"

"Well, I really want to find out what happens in 'Little Men from Neptune III.' I never got to see it all because, well, you know."

"I gotcha. Sure, I'd love to go see a wacky sci-fi horror flick with ya."

"Great. I'll pick you up at six-thirty."

"See ya then." I hung up. It was time to call Gerald. 

"Hello?"

"Gerald, Helga and I are going to go see 'Little Men from Neptune III' again, wanna bring Phoebe and join us?"

"Are you gonna actually watch the movie this time?"

"That's the plan!"

"Well, ok then, I'll bring Phoebe. Can I ask you a favor though?"

"Sure."

"I actually wanna find out what happens, so if Phoebe and I start making out, will ya tell me what happened?"

"Ok, I'll let you know what happens then." I said with a grin. How could he and Phoebe _not_ make out in the theater?

"Thanks man, you're a pal! We'll meet you outside the theater at six forty-five. Bye!"

I picked up Helga at six thirty, and we walked to the theater. She actually looked very pretty in her jeans and blouse. We got there at six forty-seven and saw Phoebe and Gerald making out. 

"Save that for inside the theater." Helga and I both blurted out at the same time. All four of us laughed.

I bought Helga a ticket, and Gerald bought Phoebe a ticket. Then we went inside the theater and sat down. Not long after, the movie started. I saw the familiar opening credits come onto the screen and kept watching for once. The movie was actually pretty good, and of course I ended up telling Gerald what happened. Zeeblot and his men were the little men from Neptune who invaded the earth for yet a third time. It was all up to Brandon, the kind-hearted reporter to save the earth from the evil aliens. I thought it was better than 'Little men from Neptune I and II' because it involved a love story. Brandon's girlfriend was captured by the little men, and he had to choose between saving his own life and hers. He died a hero, and the world was once again saved. 

Perhaps it was the element of romance that caused me to do what I did. During the long, beautiful conversation between Brandon and his girlfriend, I took Helga's hand into my own almost automatically. She smiled at me and rested her head on my shoulder. We sat like that for the rest of the movie, and I couldn't have had a better time.

The End!


End file.
